BY THE RIVERSIDE 3

The old mosque where I went for Friday prayer during my primary school years was situated by the same river that I described in 'BY THE RIVERSIDE 1'. On Friday, before I went  the mosque I would head to the market area which was just next to the mosque. The 'Pasar Jumaat' would be on and there would be a lot of interesting things and food sold there. I would put my 'kain pelekat' and 'songkok lipat' in my bag (together with my school books of course) and off I would go to the 'Pasar Jumaat'. I always went alone and up until today, I have always preferred going out to certain places all by myself. A few years ago, the local authorities decided to relocate the old market to a new place quite far from town. Back then, FYI, the boys (Standard 1 until Form 3) wore shorts to school. Only the upper form students wore long pants. After I reached the mosque, I would immediately wear my 'kain pelekat' over my sexy short pants to cover my 'aurat'. When I reflect upon the whole thing, it seems quite funny to me. After I took my 'wuduk', I 'd go inside the mosque to find a place to sit. I always sat at the back row because I needed a place to put my school bag. I was afraid someone would take my bag if I left it outside. There was nothing truly valuable in that bag actually but the thought of losing it was unbearable for a schoolboy like me. Sometimes, I would go to the river bank where I could see many other boys around my age playing and horsing around in the water before prayer time. Nothing seemed to trouble them at all. There would also be a few adults taking their baths in the river but unlike the boys, they wore the 'supposedly' more decent 'kain basah' (most of the boys were in their briefs). Passing through the town a few weekends ago on my way to Bidor, I was shocked to see the old mosque beside the river was being torn down. I found out from the locals that a new mosque would be built at the same spot. It is supposed to be bigger, more modern and more comfortable to cater to the growing number of people who go there for prayers especially on Friday. On my way back, I stopped for a few minutes at the site of the old mosque to take a few pictures of the area. Everything was totally quiet and there was nobody around. I closed my eyes for a while and in my head, I could almost hear the splashing of water and shrieks of joy coming from the river...
 

HAZE! HAZE! GO AWAY!

The haze which has been enveloping many major towns and cities in Malaysia finally makes its way to my hometown. Unwelcome, of course. It was only last Friday when the weather was still beautiful and clear. However, everything turned the other way around as the weekend slowly came to an end. I was hoping the catch the 'Supermoon' on Sunday night but I was totally disappointed when all I could see was a blurry, reddish moon in the night sky. At this very moment, the hills behind the mosque across the road have totally disappeared from view. The sky is grey and the temperature has risen up a little bit. I have always detested hot weather since it tends to make me feel tired, sleepy and lazy (actually, I sweat like a pig under the hot sun but I like to blame my negative attributes on something that can't fight back). Anyway, before I digress, let me get back to the issue at hand here which is the haze. I know it is quite impossible to expect fine weather all the time but I also believe that there are a lot of things in this world which can be avoided and prevented especially when it comes to something extremely hazardous like the current haze situation. In finding the solution, the cause must first be identified. Co-operation, instead of finger-pointing, is essential in ensuring that no repetitions of such occurrences will take place ever again. At the same time, the right thing to do is to own up to one's mistakes and not be offended when others seek explanations. Be a little bit more open to suggestions and ideas. Unnecessary accusations also need to be avoided at all cost since they will only lead towards resentment, ill-feeling and bitterness among those involved. This is not the first time the haze situation has swept over this side of the world but it can be the last if proper actions and precautions are taken. Let's remember that when something like this happens, it affects not only a specific race, a certain country or a particular region. It affects all of us regardless of who we are and where we are.

LET'S KARAOKE 28 : WHITNEY HOUSTON - I HAVE NOTHING

This karaoke is in memory of the late Whitney Houston (she still remains one of my favourite singers until today). Taken from the movie 'The Bodyguard', this songs was released as the third single from the movie soundtrack album after two other consecutive worldwide hits, 'I Will Always Love You' and 'I'm Every Woman'. 'I Have Nothing' had been performed many times during Whitney's worldwide tours and various television appearances, with great reviews of course. The instrumental used for this karaoke is not official but it fits into the video quite well (I 'stole' it from somebody's youtube so please forgive the less than spectacular quality of the audio). I finally own this CD single (20 years after its initial release, can you believe that?) after I bought it through the Internet. I try to collect her CD singles whenever possible although they can cost me quite a fortune sometimes. There are many more that I don't have (especially the rarer ones from her first and second albums) and at the moment, I am still waiting for a few more to arrive in my mailbox. Personally, I think this is a great love song although I don't like the video clip that much (most of Whitney's video clips are quite bland and boring actually). This song is quite difficult to sing if you can't feel it and my advice to those who want to attempt it is simple : do it your own way and don't imitate Whitney's vocal styling.  

The single's cover

Share my life
Take me for what I am
'Cause I'll never change all my colors for you
Take my love
I'll never ask for too much
Just all that you are and everything that you do

I don't really need to look very much further
I don't want to have to go where you don't follow
I won't hold it back again, this passion inside
I can't run from myself
There's nowhere to hide

Don't make me close one more door
I don't wanna hurt anymore
Stay in my arms if you dare
Or must I imagine you there
Don't walk away from me
I have nothing, nothing, nothing
If I don't have you, you, you, you, you

You see through
Right to the heart of me
You break down my walls with the strength of your love
I never knew
Love like I've known it with you
Will a memory survive, one I can hold on to

I don't really need to look very much further
I don't want to have to go where you don't follow
I won't hold it back again, this passion inside
I can't run from myself
There's nowhere to hide
Your love I'll remember forever

Oh, don't make me close one more door
I don't wanna hurt anymore
Stay in my arms if you dare
Or must I imagine you there
Don't walk away from me
I have nothing, nothing, nothing

Don't make me close one more door
I don't wanna hurt anymore
Stay in my arms if you dare
Or must I imagine you there
Don't walk away from me, no
Don't walk away from me

Don't you dare walk away from me
I have nothing, nothing, nothing
If I don't have you, you
If I don't have you, oh you

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY 2013!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

BY THE RIVERSIDE 2

My late father's hometown was a small village by the Perak River in Teluk Intan. It was not far from town and my Mum would often tell me how she used to take the 'beca' to the market to buy groceries. When I was growing up, my family rarely went back to this village and as far as my memory can tell me, the river was always muddy and murky. I did not like the river much. In the eyes of a small kid like me, it looked more like a brown-coloured ocean rather than a river. It was deep in certain places and stories of crocodiles swarming the river were not uncommon either. My Mum and I took a trip down memory lane when we went for our weekend outing a few weeks ago (we don't go for long holidays anymore due to my Mum's thrice-weekly hemodialysis but we try to make it a point to go out as often as we can and enjoy our weekends). The sleepy old village is still there and remnants from the past can be seen here and there; indicating that it comes from another era and time. But a lot of things have changed too. The old house belonging to my late grandfather is still there but is now occupied by relatives on my late father's side. We did not drop by since we were on our way somewhere else (to find a good place to eat which can be quite difficult sometimes). However, we did stop for a few minutes at the jetty where a boat was waiting to take a few passengers to the other side of the river. The river is still muddy and murky like I remember it. And I believe the crocodiles are still there too. Everything looked totally alien to me and there was not much that I could remember. Only bits and pieces that popped out of my subconscious like fragments of a half-forgotten dream. I do not know much about this place and now that so many ties with the past have been severed, I realise it will probably some time before I can reconnect with my roots... 
 

IT'S FINALLY OVER

The polls are now officially closed. Let's take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Have a cup of coffee (or tea or whatever you fancy) and wait for the results with an open heart and an open mind. It's also the right time for a little bit of reflection and contemplation. Remember, life still has to go on tomorrow. إن شاء الله  everything will be all right.

BEYONCE AND ANDRÉ 3000'S BACK TO BLACK

I  went numb after hearing Beyonce and André 3000's version of the late Amy Winehouse's 'Back To Black' (which is from the soundtrack of 'The Great Gatsby', which is also another remake). The atrocious remake of one of my favourite songs was too much for me to take. There is no emotion and no depth in the delivery at all. It's cold and soulless especially when the song production is dominated by the heavily-synthesised downtempo bass sound. Trying to make the musical imagery much darker, more ominous, more hypnotising and more drugged-out than it originally is, I think. Well, to me the song fails big time. Totally different from Amy's version which can seep right into my heart's core. I am not going to hate on Beyonce and André but I feel it is downright shameful for a classic song to be butchered and ruined that way. I'm pretty sure many of Beyonce and André's fans will say that the new version is fantastic but let's be objective about the whole thing, okay? There is no doubt that Beyonce can sing but certain types of songs are not suitable for her. Songs that tell stories are best sung when the singers can relate to the stories. Amy was clearly conveying her emotions in 'Back To Black' and that's why you can 'feel' her soul. Beyonce was merely singing (if  her whispering can be called a form of singing) and she couldn't capture that feeling. She couldn't get herself down there, to the place where she should feel her lowest. And I don't even want to say anything about André 3000's rapping...

p/s As much as I love Whitney Houston, I have to admit that her version of 'You Light Up My Lie' does nothing to me compared to the original version by Debbie Boone.

COLOUR ME A DIFFERENT SHADE, PLEASE!

Colours play a very important role in our life. Certain colours can calm us and there are others which will irritate the hell out of us. To me, a colour is a colour. It's all a matter of preference since it's just another hue on the palette. However, it is sad and frustrating when certain colours are strongly associated with certain things and ideas. It's okay if the correlation is all positive but what if it's the other way around? I have always been partial to black and unfortunately a lot of negative images are associated with black. Black magic, black market, black sheep, black hat, black list, blackmail etc, etc, etc. I have always wondered who started the idea that a baby boy's room has to be blue and a girl's has to be pink. There are many boys (and men too) who like pink but unfortunately, they have to hide their preference due to society's perception and preconceived notion. Certain political parties and preferences are even associated with certain colours. The General Election is coming up and I can't even wear a certain shade of green or blue or red or yellow before hearing a certain smart aleck commenting on my colour choice. It is obviously superficial and absolutely not smart when a person is solely judged based on what is seen on the outside. The world might be heading in a new direction but if the mind remains static, we won't be moving anywhere at all.

p/s Maybe I should wear something transparent so as not to evoke any unwelcome comments from others. But then, it will probably evoke something else.

BY THE RIVERSIDE 1

My childhood home was near a river and before the government began supplying piped water to homes, that river was the main source of water for the villagers. I know that it sounds so 'pre-historic' to a lot of people nowadays but that was the actual truth. My Mum would go to the river almost daily to wash our clothes. When the water level went down, my second youngest brother, my cousin and I would tag along. We would take some food and there, we would have our small picnic. There was nothing elaborate and fancy about the picnic. Usually, it would be 'jemput-jemput', simple 'nasi goreng' or 'kuih tepek' cooked by my Mum (I'll write about these 'delicacies' in another post later but don't count too much on it). There would be an instant sandy beach spread before our own very eyes, sometimes even stretching to the middle of the river. The adults could go from one side of the river to the other easily. The water was clean and cool. The surrounding was beautiful and peaceful. You could see the little fish swimming in the crystal-clear water. By the bank of the river, bamboo and 'sentul' trees grew abundantly. Sometimes we would collect the fallen 'sentul' fruits from the trees. Our favourite activities were building 'nests' for the freshwater prawns and competing who could dig the deepest hole on the beach. It was fun splashing and playing in the water but it would have been better if I knew how to swim. I never understood why floating and swimming was problematic for me until later. I had learned how to swim properly (unsuccessfully nevertheless) but since I have scoliosis, breathing under water and coordination can be quite difficult for me. FYI, scoliosis is curvature of the spine which can be quite severe in certain cases (More about scoliosis in another post if I have time). I've been back to the place where my childhood home was a few times and the area around the river is as beautiful and peaceful as ever. The 'sentul' trees are nowhere to be seen but the 'magic' is still in the air. I wish I could let go of all my inhibitions and start acting like a small kid again; frolicking in the cool water and doing silly things without a single care. But I guess that wish will always remain a wish...
 

THE VOID INSIDE

This is the eighth year since your passing and I should have gotten used to the fact that you are no longer around. Yet, I still feel empty and on certain days, totally hollow inside. I think about you almost every single day and it is especially hard when a lot of things around the house still remind me of you. As the one who is left behind, I am constantly surrounded by memories of you. Everywhere I turn, there will be something that will make my heart ache again. The lazy chair where you used to sit. Your clothes still neatly folded in the closet. Your pictures on the living room table. The flowers that you planted around the house. Your old watch that I wear to work every day. And the list goes on and on. The others have moved on, I think and I am glad that they have. They have their own lives to live plus a lot more to experience and see. Abah, I am still missing you. Much more than I can ever express. May your soul be blessed. Al Fatihah.