AL-FATIHAH : MY BELOVED MOTHER (PART 2)

Mak, it has been a year now since you left us and at the moment, I am at loss for words although in my mind, there are a million things that I want to write about you. In fact, I don't even know how or even where to start. Do I retrace the time backwards or do I start at a certain point in the past? One thing for sure is life will never ever be the same again for me. So far,  I have managed to do okay. Not great but okay. I still go about my daily business as usual but the routine that I used to follow when you were around is no longer there. Nowadays, I do whatever I have to do whenever I want to do it. Whenever I pass by certain places, memories with you would start flooding my brain and they can be quite overwhelming sometimes. Until we meet again in the hereafter. Al Fatihah for you, my dear beloved Mak. Amein.

APRIL 8 2016

Abah, it has been 11 years now and so many things have happened since that April 8 2005. After you left, I tried to do what I was supposed to do as best as I could. I am not sure if everything that I did was right but I know that my heart was in the right place when I did them. But now, there is not much that I have to do anymore. Not for myself anyway. I have vowed to keep our family together but that is all about it. Everyone is doing fine and I only have to be there when I am needed which is not that often. Other than that, life seems so empty without you and Mak. At the moment, I am just going through the motion of living from day to day. I am not saying that I am unhappy but I can't say that I am happy either. I try to immerse myself in whatever joyful moments that come into my life since I know that those moments can be fleeting and brief. I have a lot of good things in my life but sometimes, I feel as if I have nothing at all. I miss you and Mak very, very much. More than I can ever express. Now, Ati has also left us to be with both of you and that makes it even harder. I never thought for a moment that she would leave so soon. And on the same date that you left too. On this day, I pray that all of us will be reunited in the hereafter. Al Fatihah for all of you and may Allah bless your souls. Amein.