Thursday, October 20, 2011

PLANNING A MARRIAGE


A good friend of mine is courting a girl whom he is planning to get engaged to soon and he asked me why I never showed any interest in his relationship (sounds like I'm quite a busybody, huh?). We have often told each other about a lot of personal things (including some really sinful ones!) and he was quite perplexed with my almost nonchalant behaviour. Well, there are a few things that I will never interfere with and one of them is other people's relationships. I've learned from painful past experiences never to try to get between two lovers (sounds a bit dirty I know). People who are in love are totally a different species to me. They don't normally function like normal people. They eat, drink and breathe love. In addition to living in their own private world (or heaven to them), they are also much more sensitive to criticisms regarding their relationship. It is difficult for them to see the flaws in their relationship and each other. Everything is perfect and rose-tinted. Any negative comments or remarks from friends will only bring about a soured friendship. As for me, I will only voice my opinions when I know for sure that something is not right and I will only do that to a few selected friends. Even then, I have to be careful how I'm going to make sure my opinions are known to them. One wrong word and that might be the end of a friendship. I have always believed in couples discovering each other (sounds dirtier I know) at their own pace and without any interference. The courting period is the right time for them to find out more about the other half without any outside influences (though I know there are many people out there who put up a different personality when they are dating but that's a different story anyway). My friend is really serious about this girl and I know how apprehensive he is at times. He wonders if he is making the right decision at the right time with the right person. He is planning his marriage not his wedding. To a certain extent, he is planning his life and future. All I can do is to give him all the support that he needs when he needs it. I will not volunteer any opinion or suggestion since I believe he knows what he wants. He is capable of making his own decisions and being responsible for them. As for me, I am going to watch from afar and hope that he gets everything his heart desires.