(NOT) TO FORGIVE AND (NOT) TO FORGET

In life, sometimes we have to make choices when it comes to the next course of action once a (bad) relationship is over. When I say relationship, it can mean anything and everything. It can be a relationship between lovers, spouses, colleagues, friends, relatives and even siblings. Should any connection with the other party continue or should it stop? Should any casual relationship be allowed to exist or should everything be best put to rest? Someone who has been hurt badly in a relationship might go for one of these options but it is definitely difficult to make the right decision since a lot of factors can come into play.

a. to forgive and forget
b. to forgive but not to forget
c. not to forgive and not to forget
d. not to forgive but to forget

I have always believed that for everything and anything that has happened, it is better to forgive and forget. All that has changed and I'm not even sure if it's for the better. I am trying to learn to erase certain people, places and memories from my life. It's one of the most difficult decisions that I've made but I do have a lot of scars, bruises and injuries on my soul to prove and I do not want to add even another scratch to it. At the moment, I simply cannot afford to be my 'old self' anymore. My decision might seem harsh and irrational to some people but there is no more room for all these. In other words, the bitter past is over and there will never be a second chance for it to slide back into my life. I have to move on and look to the future. Good experiences will be kept tight in the corners of my mind. That is where they belong. I have always cherished them (and always will) but don't expect me to be bound to them as if they were the most precious things in my life. The opposite, on the other hand, does not even deserve to be part of my life anymore. I've been grounded for too long and I want to learn how to fly. Naturally, I cannot be weighed down by any emotional burden and sentimentality. I am not saying that this is going to be my principle forever since nothing ever stays the same but at this moment, this is how I feel...

HOW TO BE A DIVA

Welcome to DIVA 101. This is a short course on how to be a real diva. Here you will find tips that will help you become the envy of every woman alive. These tips are not in any particular order but each and everyone of them is as important as the other so don't try to skip any. Simply follow them religiously and success is guaranteed to be yours. If you fail, don't bother retaking it. It simply means you are not meant to be one. Other recommended courses : NERD 101, JOCK 101, SLUT 101.


Lesson 1 : It can be real or it can be fake but you still need to have it. Lots and lots of it. The bigger, the better. No self-respecting diva can be seen without 'it' being in its proper place. What is it? HAIR. As mentioned earlier, it can be yours, it can be fake, it can be somebody else's but you still need to have it. Just look at Diana Ross and Elizabeth Taylor. Local example : Sharifah Aini.

Lesson 2 : Lots of glitter (not shine). You can have glitter on your clothing. You can have glitter on your hair. Or you can have glitter on your make-up. Just remember that the Vegas showgirl look is a definite NO. Go for classy glitter not trashy. Again, Diana Ross is the perfect example.

Lesson 3 : Never explain yourself. Explaining yourself shows that you care too much about what other people say which translates yourself as someone who is not confident enough to brave the wilderness. A diva could care less about gossips and rumours surrounding her. There is nothing mysterious about her. She simply has a nonchalant attitude. Madonna will never be the diva she is today if she has to explain every single controversial thing that she does (which is a lot).

Lesson 4 : Be over the top (even if you can't really afford it). Being over the top depends on your attitude not the size of your Swiss bank account. There are women who definitely will have more money than you do but they can never be the divas they aspire to be. So maximise and optimise your situation and your lifestyle. Some people say that the sky is the limit but a diva can definitely go beyond that. Extravagance and opulence are the keywords here. Examples : Kimora Lee Simmons and Naomi Campbell.

Lesson 5 : Jewelry. You can buy them, borrow them, rent them or even steal them. It doesn't really matter what you do as long as you have them. First choice : Diamonds. One carat and above. Nothing less than that. If possible, of rare cut and colour. Nothing can top that and it's the definite status symbol. Second choice : no second choice actually. No costume jewelry and please no imitation either. Anybody can spot a fake from a mile away. And never ever wear rhinestones.

Lesson 6 : Marry well and marry rich (not someone with the surname 'Rich' okay?). It also doesn't hurt if you marry more than once but make sure you don't come out of any marriage with nothing. Never marry someone who is below your social status unless it's your third or fourth marriage and you have enough from your previous marriage to support your definitely younger toy boy. Learn something from Rita Hayworth and Liz Taylor.

Lesson 7 : Never show your weakness(es) in public. Never succumb to your own emotions in public. A diva can fall from grace when she shows that she is just like any other woman out there. Shed a tear (two at the most) and quickly wipe it (them) from the corners of your eyes but never sob.

Lesson 8 : Never stay at home waiting for something to happen. Make sure you are always in the public eye. You can go out socialising, doing charity work or even be in jail. Just make sure the press and the paparazzi know you are in there. Bring an entourage if possible. The more is definitely the merrier. Remember that the universe revolves around you.

Lesson 9 : Dress as if you have a socialite party to attend. Wear designer clothes which sound exotic and foreign (if possible, the ones which are barely pronounceable). Leave Guess, Calvin Klein and Tommy Hilfiger to the kids. Choose Badley Mischka, Emilio Pucci, Diane von Fürstenberg or Yohji Yamamoto instead. Patronise an aspiring designer if you like his or her work. Drop the label if it has become too commercial.

Lesson 10 : Never pay cash. A diva doesn't have time to deal with real money. Imagine looking for coins in your purse when it should be holding your blood-red lipstick. Leave the paying part to your assistant and your accountant. American Express only, please. No Visa or MasterCard.

Lesson 11 : High heels. You can be a six-footer but nobody says that you cannot wear them. No ballerina slippers or worse, sandals. Stilettos if you can balance yourself well. Don't horse-walk and don't drag your heels. Just sashay and float. Paint your toe nails if you have to show them but not in garish colours. RuPaul is almost seven foot tall but that doesn't stop him from hitting the roof in his heels.

Lesson 12 : Never curse and never swear. Leave all the four-letter words to the hoes from the ghettos and the bitches from the hood. Be acidic and sarcastic but never bitchy. Come up with witty remarks and unforgettable quotes. And no shouting either (not in public anyway. You can always shout at your domestic help at home if necessary).

Lesson 13 : Smile but don't grin. Grinning is for girls who think they can attract guys by showing their pearly whites. Plus grinning always makes anybody look stupid. You are a diva not a bimbo so smile like one.

Lesson 14 : Leave a trail of exotic scent wherever you go but never divulge to others what it is. If you can afford to have a perfume named after you then so much the better. Visit a perfumer ('le nez'  if you are a snob) to create your own personalised perfume and make sure it is packaged to reflect your 'divaness'.

Lesson 15 : Never ever proclaim yourself as a diva. A diva is like a queen and a queen does not need to tell her subjects that she is one. She knows who she is and her subjects do too. But remember a queen can always be dethroned so protect yourself well.


If you think you can follow these simple steps, then you are ready to enroll in Diva 102 which is definitely more comprehensive and intensive than this introductory course. There will be no test (which means no retest) or final exam. Only an on-going assessment of your progress and status. Good luck!

HAVE A BLESSED EID 1431H

To all, may we have a blessed Eid this year and may peace be with all of us.

MY RAMADHAN

A few more days and the fasting month will be over. Muslims all over the world will be celebrating Eid and Syawal will soon take the place of Ramadhan. I haven't done much preparation for the celebration except making some cookies yesterday (which turned out okay) and cleaning the house (which was very therapeutic for me). Really pathetic I know but I can't do more than that. I'm not in the mood for a lot of things lately and I feel emotionally drained. I've been going through Ramadhan this year like a zombie and it's not a very pleasant sensation. To my frustration, I can't even pinpoint the exact reason(s) for the turmoil I'm experiencing inside. I'm sure it's not midlife crisis (I went through that a few years back) and it's definitely not andropause (not going to have that in the next few years at least). I want to blame it on the weather but I'm too smart to pick on anything that can't defend itself. Neither can I put it on the people around me since nobody has done me any wrong (nothing that is that serious anyway). So what is the problem here? I guess I only have myself to blame. A lot of bad and sad things are happening around me and I guess I can't take them anymore. A few people I know passed away unexpectedly this Ramadhan. A good friend is having serious marital problems after twenty years of marriage. Another good friend is breaking up with his lover. The devastating flood in Pakistan. Some people taking my kindness for weakness. The negativity and depressing news in the media. The list goes on and on. My emotions are too fragile at the moment and I can't handle all these things simultaneously. I'm sure this feeling is temporary and I'm also sure that I will soon recover from this minor emotional disorder (I don't have any other choice, do I?). It's just that I hate feeling so helpless and weak. In retrospective, I believe all these things are blessings in disguise. On second thought, it has been a great Ramadhan and I am thankful that I am still breathing to bask in all its wonder. I'm sure that Syawal is going to bring new lights, new insights and new directions into my life.
آمين

WHY AM I STILL BLOGGING?

I am a late bloomer when it comes to blogging and when I finally got to it, blogging was no longer all the rage. In fact, it is now considered as passé. So why am I still blogging? Why am I still holding on to something that is almost outmoded and outdated? Why can't I simply use Twitter or facebook? Nobody reads my blog anyway so why don't I just quit? The reason is simple. I am not the type of person who can give my opinion in fifteen words or less. I am not good at summarising my thoughts and ideas. I love lengthy detailed sentences. I am of the older generation and I will never be the always-on-the-go type which usually typifies the younger generation. Blogging enables me to touch on a topic or a subject at a deeper level (there's nothing deep about the things I write actually but I like to think that I put some thought into them before they are published). I have lost my spontaneity (which I doubt I will ever regain) and that's why I prefer to voice my feelings in my blog instead of putting them out for the whole world to see on facebook or Twitter. I know a few friends who have put their blogging to rest and a few others who are taking an indefinite hiatus. Blogging can be quite frustrating if you know that nobody is reading your blog but I have always considered my blog as a diary in which I can jot down anything I like about the happenings in my life (which do not amount to much actually). Of course, I don't write about very personal things. Certain things are better kept to oneself and I am not ready (I guess I'll never be) to share that part with the rest of the world yet. Blogging can be quite time-consuming and a lot of times, you run out of ideas. Not everyone is born to be a writer and not many can keep their creative juices flowing . That is why many bloggers choose to limit their subject matter and focus on one specific area. At the same time, there are many unique blogs which have attracted loyal followers from all over the world. These bloggers have created inimitable identities and styles for their blogs. They have readers who give them constructive comments and sometimes, even financial support to keep on blogging. At the moment, I am not even sure how long I will keep on putting my thoughts in this blog. I hope it will not suffer an untimely death since I intend to bore (to death) anybody who comes for a visit. I'm sure one of these days, this blog is going to die but I do hope it is not going to happen soon.

GETTING TO HAPPY 2

I wrote way back in March about Terry McMillan's new novel 'Getting To Happy' and I was super excited (I almost peed in my pants) to get a glimpse of the cover. I simply love it and I can definitely tell who's who. Gloria is the one in baby blue. Robin is in pink. Bernadine is wearing the lavender dress. And Savannah is in canary yellow. I must have read Waiting To Exhale about a thousand times now and I can hardly wait to know what these ladies' lives have been like for the past 15 years. I'm not sure if this sequel is going to be as good as 'Waiting To Exhale' but I can hope, can't I? After all, life is partly about our journey towards happiness and contentment. Nothing stays the same and nothing can be perfect forever.

WELCOME BACK RAMADHAN

InsyaAllah, Ramadhan 1431H will start on Wednesday and I sincerely hope all of us who are observing this month will be in good health. Amid the excitement of welcoming this blessed month, let's not forget that there are others who might not be as fortunate as we are. Therefore, let's not be wasteful, indulgent and extravagant. Let's make this month a time for us to cleanse and purify our bodies, hearts, minds and souls. Let's practise moderation, patience and self-control. Let's have a truly meaningful Ramadhan.


p/s This is the link to the official Ramadhan timetable for Malaysia which can be downloaded and printed for our convenience.
http://www.islam.gov.my/portal/puasa10.php

AL-FATIHAH

I had just returned from town when I received a phone call from an ex-schoolmate informing me that Firdaus Yusoff, one of our friends from high school, had passed away. I knew that he was hospitalised but this was a real shock. Firdaus Yusoff or Oz, as he was fondly known, was a jovial person and was my classmate. We were never really close when we were in high school since he was a 'rocker' and I was not one. Our class had a lot of 'colourful' characters and he was one of them (I only found my 'true colours' after I left school). He also liked to tease me (and another friend, Gush) a lot! He had always been interested in music and music was in his life until he was hospitalised. His first (official) public performance was during our school's Silver Jubilee celebration back in 1982. I might be wrong here but that was the first time I saw him playing. After our public examination, all of us went our own ways and Oz went to one of the public higher learning institutes to further his studies (and played music on the side). Then, his music took over. That was the beginning of his foray into music and he stood by his music till the end. The last time we met was somewhere in Central Market when he was still busking. Through facebook, I managed to get back in touch with a few of my ex-school chums including him. I found out that he was working in Langkawi and from his pictures, he looked truly happy. Now, Oz is gone but the high school memories will always remain. Al-Fatihah.

LET'S KARAOKE 5 : WHITNEY HOUSTON - HEARTBREAK HOTEL

What! No Whitney Houston's karaoke? Well, it's quite difficult for me to get any original Whitney Houston's instrumental that can fit perfectly into her video clips. Finally, I had to resort to creating an incomplete karaoke. This song is taken from her 'My Love Is Your Love' album which I absolutely love. I wish I could create 'I Learned From The Best' since it is one of my favourite songs. Still, this is better than nothing. I didn't put in the lyrics in the video clip though. They are already there in the first place.

The single's cover

This is the Heartbreak Hotel
This is the Heartbreak Hotel
This is the Heartbreak Hotel
This is the Heartbreak Hotel

This is the Heartbreak Hotel
This is the Heartbreak Hotel
This is the Heartbreak Hotel
This is the Heartbreak Hotel

You said you'd be here by nine
Instead you took your time
You didn't think to call me boy
Here I sit, tryin' not to cry
Askin' myself why, you do this to me

Since you're not around for me
To tell you baby face to face
I'm writing you this letter
And this is what I have to say

All I really wanted was some of your time
Instead you told me lies when someone else was on your mind
What'd you do to me? Look what you did to me
I thought that you were someone who would do me right
Until you played with my emotions and you made me cry
What'd you do to me? Can't take what you did to me

Now I see, that you've been doin' wrong
Played me all along and made a fool of me baby
You got it all wrong to think that I wouldn't find out
That you were cheatin' on me, baby how could you do it to me

Since you're not around for me
To tell you baby face to face
I'm writing you this letter
And this is what I have to say

All I really wanted was some of your time
Instead you told me lies when someone else was on your mind
What'd you do to me? Look what you did to me
I thought that you were someone who would do me right
Until you played with my emotions and you made me cry
What'd you do to me? Can't take what you did to me

This is the Heartbreak Hotel
This is the Heartbreak Hotel
This is the Heartbreak Hotel
This is the Heartbreak Hotel

This is the Heartbreak Hotel
This is the Heartbreak Hotel
This is the Heartbreak Hotel
This is the Heartbreak Hotel

All I really wanted was some of your time
Instead you told me lies when someone else was on your mind
What'd you do to me? Look what you did to me
I thought that you were someone who would do me right
Until you played with my emotions and you made me cry
What'd you do to me? Can't take what you did to me

All I really wanted was some of your time
Instead you told me lies when someone else was on your mind
What'd you do to me? Look what you did to me
I thought that you were someone who would do me right
Until you played with my emotions and you made me cry
What'd you do to me? Can't take what you did to me

I ain't gonna take it, I ain't gonna take it no more
I ain't gonna take it boy
I ain't gonna take it no more
Everything you say is a lie

LET'S KARAOKE 4 : JENNIFER PAIGE - CRUSH

This one is for the Gleeks and I am sure there are many out there. The original version is sung by Jennifer Paige back in 1998 and the new version is by Lea Michele (which is not really that bad). I simply love this song. It tends to stick in my head for quite a while every time I listen to it. I guess it must be the chorus that does that. The song is very light and breezy, a little bit sensual and not too 'dancey'. Definitely a song for driving to the beach with friends on a Saturday afternoon. An appropriate song to dedicate to that someone who is head over heels with you when you are just simply enjoying his or her company.

The single's cover

Ahh, crush, ahhh

I see ya blowin' me a kiss
It doesn't take a scientist
To understand what's going on baby
If you see something in my eye
Let's not over analyze
Don't go too deep with it baby

So let it be what it'll be
Don't make a fuss and get crazy over you and me
Here's what I'll do
I'll play loose
Not like we have a day with destiny

It's just a little crush (crush)
Not like I faint every time we touch
It's just some little thing (crush)
Not like everything I do depends on you
Sha-la-la-la, Sha-la-la-la

It's raising my adrenaline
You're banging on a heart of tin
Please don't make too much of it baby
You say the word "forevermore"
That's not what I'm looking for
All I can commit to is "maybe"

So let it be what it'll be
Don't make a fuss and get crazy over you and me
Here's what I'll do
I'll pay loose
Not like we have a day with destiny

It's just a little crush (crush)
Not like I faint every time we touch
It's just some little thing (crush)
Not like everything I do depends on you
Sha-la-la-la, Sha-la-la-la

Vanilla skies (vanilla skies)
White picket fences in your eyes
A vision of you and me

It's just a little crush (crush)
Not like I faint every time we touch
It's just some little thing (crush)
Not like everything I do depends on you
Sha-la-la-la
Not like I faint every time we touch
It's just some little thing
Not like everything I do depends on you
Sha-la-la-la
Not like I faint every time we touch
It's just some little thing
Not like everything I do
Depends on you